Hello, friends! In this episode, I answer two questions relating to practicing self-care when you have no choice to engage with a toxic individual when co-parenting and supporting your partner when they struggle with depressive episodes which leaves them feeling numb.
Obvious answer is to cut those people out of your life, but what if you can’t?
My ex husband has some diagnosed, but untreated mental heath issues and co-parenting with him (even when we were married) has always been difficult. It doesn’t help that we both come from different cultures and have very different ideas as to how to discipline our child. I do my best to not engage with him when him when he is in a highly emotional state and I’ve mastered the art of remaining calm when he starts in on me for something he dislikes, but it’s the aftermath that I am having trouble coping with. I find myself unable to stop replaying these conversations/interactions in my head for days afterwards. Pacing around the house or laying in bed trying to not let his words get to me. I tell myself to just “let it go” as Princess Elsa would say, but how? Are there any tools you know of to move on from a difficult interaction with a toxic person? That is, aside from climbing to a snowy mountaintop and singing a song about it.
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My question for you relates to depression within a relationship. My boyfriend goes through periods of time where he is in a very depressive state, not to the point where it is hard for him to do things, but he just doesn’t enjoy his job, activities, or even being around people while he feels like this. He told me that he almost goes numb and doesn’t feel emotions too strongly for others and himself; for example, it is even hard for him to say “I love you” back to me during this time.
Before meeting me he typically dealt with this by himself and says eventually it goes away, but since he has me now it is very hard for me to watch him go through this and not help. When he is not in this state, our relationship is the perfect dynamic.
Any suggestions on how I should approach him with my words, actions, etc., that could help him feel better, not alone and wanted?
Episode 277 – Related Posts
As well as listening to the podcast, you can also find my thoughts on the questions in written format in these related posts!
Question 1 – How To Handle Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex? – Duff The Psych
Question 2 – How Can I Best Support My Depressed Partner? – Duff The Psych
This episode of Hardcore Self Help is sponsored by BetterHelp and Ritual.
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